


winter has never been so warm

by kirschtrash



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Im sorry this is kind sad, Loneliness, M/M, True Love, but fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 06:13:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11075694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirschtrash/pseuds/kirschtrash
Summary: It's with a heart full of love, and a soul full of life, that I realize that mornings are no longer what they used to be.





	winter has never been so warm

**Author's Note:**

> I never planned to write smth like this. So much has happened so suddenly - I had to vent it out. Hope you like it.

Mornings are no longer what they used to be.

I expect consciousness to force me awake. Like a cruel slash of the whip against my back, waking me up for another day of slavery. I’d recoil away from it, out of fear, out of disgust. _Stay away_ , I would have said years ago. _Stay away. Let me rest for longer. Let me stay like this - stagnant, still. At peace._   
  
I expect to feel my stone cold skin before even prying my eyes open. _It’s cold, so cold_. Shivering, shaking, I’d lay still. Almost lifeless.  
But I had been used to it. I had grown accustomed to waking up to darkness. I had grown comfortable with the emptiness next to my bed - that, and the gaping hole in my chest, where my heart used to be. The pain that once stung now only throbbed dully. I was used to it.   
  
Ah, and then there was that scream. A silent scream, it was. The only thing that echoed in my mind, silencing my own thoughts. I’d hear it often, more so than my own voice. My own companion. It didn't have a voice, nor did it have a body. But it had a name. _Loneliness._

 

Mornings are no longer what they used to be.

Now, when I do pry my eyes open with my heart in my throat, I don’t see darkness. I see sunlight streaming through the windows. I hear birds chirping outside, quite merrily. Warmth is what I feel instead of the cold, embracing me like a dear friend's hug. I don't shake, and I don't shiver at the thought of stepping out of my bed. I don't feel afraid anymore.  
  
All I feel is that beautiful warmth - that, and a weight beside me.

I expect to feel daggers carving through my skin, as soon as the weight shifts closer. I expect guilt to burn holes into me, plaguing me with words like _I don’t deserve this, this isn’t right, I’m not worth it_. It’s what I’ve been used to.   
But then our bodies touch, with his arms around me. It's warm and supple. It doesn't hurt. For once, it doesn't hurt.   
  
Then I brace myself for the scream. _Any moment now._

But I don’t hear it. I feel lips press against my shoulder, light yet loving. I hear a voice - gentle and beautiful, like a song:

“Good morning, Viktor.”

 

Years ago, I couldn't believe that life would someday be kind to me; that someday I'd get to live a life without loneliness as my only friend. It used to sound like a fool's dream.

But now, when there's love in my heart, I finally believe in it. _God, this warmth - it finally feels real._

**Author's Note:**

> Here's my [tumblr](http://kirschtrash.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/kirschtrash?lang=en) \- im friendly <3


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